Chapter Seventeen - The Atonement

He welcomed the pain.  For with the pain came the reassurance that his badly charred body had begun to heal.  As he felt the sharp, tiny teeth of the hungry rodent as it sank it's fangs into the flesh of his lower leg, he instinctively reached down and felt his fingers close around the small, furry body.  He was in desperate need of fresh blood.  He was still quite weak and not healed to the point of being strong enough to find a source of that magical healing elixr, fresh human blood.  Even this small amount of rodent blood would be strength.  Bill felt his fangs tear into the throat of the terrified, struggling creature ,even as he gagged against the vile taste of this fresh, warm blood as it trickled down his throat.  Life, or life as he knew it, was slowly being returned to his injured body.  He lifted his arm and with his hand, he began to feel across his chest.  Yes, he was slowly healing.  Bill had never sustained such devastating injuries.   He had never been burned by the sun as he was always certain to be locked securely in his resting place before the warm, golden rays of that glorious orb gazed down up the earth.  

He lay back, exhausted from his slight efforts.  As he began to drift off into that state of half dream, half illusion, Bill thought he could hear someone calling to him. It was as if he had wandered into a place so dark and lonely that no one could reach him.  He struggled to find his voice, to find a way to call out from this place of lost hope.  He was no longer sure of what was real and what was merely a manifestation of his yearning.  As he closed his blue eyes, he felt her hands on his face once again.  "Oh Mother!  Where have you been?  I've been trying to find you for so long!   I'm so alone, so frightened. Oh Mother, please stay with me, don't leave me here alone."  Bill  heard himself weeping as he implored his beloved Mother to stay with him.  He could feel her soft, warm lips gently caress his cheek as he breathed in the comforting fragrance of her lavender scent as she leaned over and whispered "yes, my sweet one, I'm right here.  I've always been right here.  You are my sweet little Billy and I'll never leave you".  Bill smiled, and then, like a vapor in the mist of morning, she was gone.  He felt the tears began to fall from the corner of his eyes.  He was alone.  He had always been alone.  Everyone and everything he loved was lost to him.  Even Sookie.  She was gone.  He had failed in his effort to protect her and now she was dead.  His mind drifted off once more into a turbulent and restless sleep as the image of a terrified and pleading young girl with red hair and blue eyes swam in his dreams. 

Gradually, he could feel his body becoming stronger and stronger.   His confused and jumbled thoughts became clearer. Then he remembered.  Sookie, she was not dead.  He remembered calling out to her, pouring every last ounce of his strength into reaching out to her, hoping against hope that she would respond to his call.  She just couldn't be dead. Yes, he remembered now.  The body of the shifter, Sam Merlotte, lay on the ground as she opened her eyes, got up and somehow found the strength to end the life of that man.  He thought about the shifter.  The shifter that he had asked to watch out for her, the one who had been in Sookie's home, his arms around her, his lips on hers.  He felt the anger and sadness fill his heart once again.  In his weakened, confused state, his emotions were raw and all but uncontrollable.  The hurt was so new, so harsh that he thought he could not bear it.  A sob filled his chest as he remembered the terrible feeling of betrayal and hurt as she angrily turned on him and put him out of her home while the shifter remained.   It seemed as if, in spite of it all,  he had lost Sookie forever.  How long had he lain here?  He couldn't remember anymore.  But it no longer mattered.   Sookie had made her choice.  He felt as though his aching heart would break.

Sundown was quickly approaching.  Bill lay in his cold, dark cocoon as he waited for the warming rays of the sun to safely retreat into it's hiding place, leaving only the briefest of a lingering scent of sunshine to gently waft on the night breeze.  Rain would be coming soon.  He could smell it's approach and he needed to be free of this place and healed by the time it made it's presence known.  He slowly made his way up into the night air.  He was still quite weak, but his first thoughts were of Sookie, of seeing Sookie and somehow making her understand how deeply sorry he was for his failure to save her.  But not yet.  His hunger was overwhelming and he desperately needed to feed.  But where?  He stood for a moment in the night air and tried to clear his thoughts as he began to think about a place he could safely feed without being seen.  He was just too weak and would not be able to resist an attack.  Then he remembered.  There was a store, one of those that remained open all the time.  It was near his home.   He had frequently stopped in to purchase TrueBlood and on occasion, a special treat of the creamy dark chocolate Sookie loved so much.   But tonight he needed much more sustanance than a bottle of synthetic blood.  For only fresh, human blood could provide the magical healing power he so desperately required.  As he slowly made his way to the highway, he forced himself not to think about what he was doing.  He had made Sookie a promise to shy away from such behavior that to her seemed so barbaric.  But Bill was no longer certain that Sookie would even care about what he did.  

Bill silently waited in the shadows, hidden in a clump of trees that sheltered the back side of the store.  He knew it wouldn't be long before someone made their way around the back in order to relieve themselves.  He, as well as other vampires, had learned years ago that this was a fail-proof method of acquiring fresh blood.  The combination of  beer and the constant need of humans to relieve themselves made it somewhat like shooting fish in a barrel.  All he need do was wait.

The warm water of the shower felt so wonderful to his freshly healed body.  As he watched the dirt and charred ash fall in a torrent of soap and shampoo, he thought about what he would say to her.  Would she even care about what he had to say?  He remembered the tears and heartbreak in her eyes as he bid her good-bye the night he left for the tribunal.  The tribunal, combined with the horror and shame of what he had done to that poor girl, then the exasperation at the unruly creature that had emerged from the ground was something he wasn't prepared to deal with just yet.  The idea of being so indebted to Eric was not something he relished dwelling on either.  There would be payback, of that he was certain.  As to what it might be, Bill could only be certain of one thing.  Whatever payback Eric demanded would require a painful sacrifice on his part.  There were times when Bill felt as though his life had been spent atoning for some transgression or another.  Would he ever be finished with paying his penance to whichever supreme being decided his fate?  Would he ever be left to find his way in whatever resemblance of peace he could find?  

As he walked up the graveled path to her home, he felt as though his mind and heart were engaged in an epic battle.  His mind was so certain that his life with Sookie was over, while his hopeful heart refused to even entertain the thought.  But what if it really was over?  What would he do?  He would not beg.  He would not beseech Sookie to reconsider her decision.  He was finished with begging, forever.  He would turn around, walk down those same steps, leave this town and his beloved state of Louisiana forever, never to return.   But he would first look in her window, and whatever he saw would ultimately decide his fate.   As he stopped and watched her for a few brief moments, he felt such a feeling of supreme relief to realize that she was alone.  A trembling hand reached for the doorbell and in the blink of an eye, there she was.  And she was still his.

However many years fate had decided to give him, Bill Compton knew that he would never experience the joy, relief and love he felt as he held Sookie in his arms.  He wanted to heal her, but she would have none of it.  He carefully held her and all he could think about was kissing and touching every inch of her body.  It wasn't so much the need to feel her woman's body joined with his and the need to reaffirm their love and passion as much as the need to reassure himself that she was alright.  He just couldn't stop touching her and breathing in the scent of her.  And she felt the same.  The look of incredulous disbelief on her face as she opened her door and saw him had made her almost weak with joy and relief.  As their tender carresses soon turned into a fierce need to express their love for each other, Bill was very gentle with her.  He touched her almost as if she were made of the finest porcelain.  Tomorrow there would be issues and new problems that would test their love and tolerance, but tonight it did not matter.  They had both endured heartbreak, strife and sorrow, but tonight would be their night of reaffirming their love, passion and need for each other.  Bill couldn't stop smiling.   Sookie was alright and yes,  she was still his. 

Chapter Sixteen - The Reckoning

Bill Compton had thought he understood the meaning of the word terror, but now realized that he had been mistaken. He could sense Eric and Pam behind him as he felt his coat being pulled from his arms. Nothing in his previous experiences, as either human or vampire, could have prepared him for this dreadful feeling that rocked his mind as he gazed into the black, souless eyes of the Magistre. Black eyes that were lacking in compassion for anything human or vampire and who obviously found great enjoyment in witnessing the pain and suffering of those he held power over. As he listened to the excited bloodhowls of the ragtag collection of vampires behind him as they gleefully and enthusiastically demonstrated their approval while the fangs of some unfortunate were being yanked out by the root, Bill realized that this was going to be a very long evening indeed. And he was afraid. There was no point in admitting anything less. He could not even begin to imagine what fate had in store for him on this night.

For a brief moment he turned his blue eyes up at the full moon. It was such a beautiful moon, a lover's moon. But not for him. Bill knew that in all liklihood he would not see Sookie again. If he did, it would not be for a very long time and by then she would be a very old woman. Who would protect her now? Would she join others he had loved and through his mistakes, be forever lost to him for all eternity? He could not even begin to imagine anything so painful as knowing a gravestone would be the only part of her he could touch. Another love stolen from him. As he reflected upon the events of the previous evening, Bill realized that he had only himself to blame. The sheer stupidity of agreeing to accompany Sookie to Fangtasia was only the beginning. He now knew the gravity of this mistake. From the moment they walked through the door of that place, it was as if this evening was as inevitable as the rising of the sun. He should have known better. If only. It seemed as if his entire existence had been full of "if onlys". If only he had kept her away from Eric. If only he had done more to help in her efforts to clear her brother's name. If only he had not wandered off the road and sought respite from his hunger and thirst at that cabin. It was the beautiful, luminous full moon, much like the moon of this night as it came from behind the cover of a thick, dark cloud that had led him to Lorena's door. If only.

In spite of the humiliation of it, Bill found himself clinging to a small spark of hope that Eric would come to his aid in some way and perhaps it would hold some sway with this Magistre. He hated more than words could convey that feeling of helplessness and the needing of Eric's influence. This dependence on Eric bothered him almost as much as the validation of this terrible fear he felt. Bill had never attended a tribunal. He found no pleasure in witnessing or participating in the misfortune of another. As the Magistre began to speak, Bill thought back to last night. He had never, in all his years as a vampire, witnessed the staking of another. He had only heard it spoken of. As he recalled the feeling of the wooden stake in his strong hands as it plunged into the back of Longshadow, he felt his fear renewed afresh. Whatever his punishment was to be, it would not be pleasant. Could no one here see what a wonderful, special human Sookie was? He had to protect her. Why could they not see this?

"Five years in a coffin chained with silver". Bill's mind tried to absorb those words, but all he could hear was a dull, humming sound. If he had possessed a heart that still beat, Bill had no doubt that it would have stopped at those words. He could not even begin to think about anything that could be more horrible, more cruel. Or so he thought. It was at that moment that he heard Eric speak. Perhaps Eric speaking had made some difference. The Magistre seemed to hesitate for a moment. What could possibly be more horrid than five years chained in silver?

No, no. no. Bill's mind was reeling in utter shock, disbelief and abhorance at the words he heard. He could not, would not do this terrible thing. Everything in him rose up in abject horror against the words he heard this cruel monster say. It was as if he was watching from a great distance as a terrified and desperate young girl was thrown from the trunk of a car. His mind began to recoil against what he knew was coming. No, no, no. Anything but this. Oh please God, no, no. no!

Bill felt the softness of her hand as he knelt before her. Her eyes, they were so blue! She was a lovely young girl. It was not fair. But there was nothing at all about life that ever was. Bill had never hated to do something this badly in his entire existence. He had caused the death of humans, that was true. And it bothered him greatly each time it happened. But it was never a deliberate act of violence or cruelty such as this. After all these years of witnessing the cruel deeds done by man, Bill truly wondered if God existed. If He did, then Bill could only hope that somehow he could be forgiven for this unholy deed. As he gazed into her bright blue eyes in an effort to calm her, he heard that cruel voice once again. Bill had no doubt the Magistre meant every word he said and would have enjoyed nothing so much as the torture of this unlucky young girl. Bill could not let that happen.

As she desperately struggled against the inevitable and in spite of his resistance and revulsion, Bill could feel it overpowering him. As badly as he would like it to be different, he could no longer deny who and what he was. As his fangs sank into her tender flesh, a raging bloodlust began to consume him. The smell of virgin blood began to drift in the night air and Bill could hear the howls of lust and anticipation. This is who he was. He wasn't a man. Not any longer. The beauty and savagery of who and what he was took over and it was a relief to finally stop fighting against that part of him that only wanted to be Bill Compton. As he accepted and welcomed the rage that came with the knowledge of defeat, he felt himself consumed with the need to feel this young, virgin blood flowing throughout every part of him. He was no longer a man. He was vampire.

Chapter Fifteen - The Bidding

Bill gently leaned over and kissed her soft cheek as she lay sleeping.  He loved to watch her sleep. She had fallen asleep in his arms and for the remainder of the night his eyes had not left her sleeping face.  But dawn would soon be here.  His body could sense it and his blue eyes could already detect the faintest lightening of the sky on the eastern horizon.  He had to go.  He allowed his face to rest briefly in the scent of her hair.  Then, with one last look back at her sleeping face, he was gone.

A few evenings later Bill sat behind the wheel of his dark blue BMW as he made his way home from Monroe.  He had decided to attend to a few errands this evening while Sookie worked her evening shift at Merlottes.  Not much in Bon Temp, with the exception of Merlottes and a few convenience stores, remained open after dark.  So the necessities of picking up dry cleaning and banking, along with any personal shopping, had to be attended to in Monroe.  He smiled as he looked down at the bouquet of red and white roses he had carefully selected for her at the all-night market. Each one had to be perfect, because they represented the two perfect gifts he had received from Sookie.  Her sexual purity and her virgin blood.  Now, with his errands finally completed, he was anxious to return home.  Sookie would be there in a few hours and he wanted to be home when she walked through the door.  To hear the sound of his door opening and knowing it was her returning to him had become the best part of his life.  It was as if one of his favorite poets,  Lord Byron, had written this , just for her.

" She walks in beauty, like the night  

Of cloudless climes and starry skies,  

And all that's best of dark and bright  

Meets in her aspect and her eyes;  

Thus mellow'd to that tender light         

Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.  

  

One shade the more, one ray the less,  

Had half impair'd the nameless grace  

Which waves in every raven tress  

Or softly lightens o'er her face,  

Where thoughts serenely sweet express  

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.  

  

And on that cheek and o'er that brow  

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  

But tell of days in goodness spent,—  

A mind at peace with all below,  

A heart whose love is innocent"

 As his powerful, yet gentle hands expertly guided the car through the dark, narrow roads as he grew nearer to Bon Temp, he allowed his thoughts to wander once more to the previous evening.  He felt his face form a smile as he remembered their passionate lovemaking.  Sookie had no knowledge of all the things that a more experienced lover knew.  All those things that a woman, through experience, learned how to do that brought added pleasure to a man.  Bill knew he was the only man who had ever touched her in an intimate way.  He also knew that he had been given that most sacred of gifts that any woman can give a man. Her innocence and purity. Bill had tried to explain to her that it wasn't the technique, or the knowledge of ways to pleasure a man that made her lovemaking so special.  It was something even he couldn't explain fully.   In all those years as Bill had forlornly roamed the earth, being forced by either his maker Lorena or compeled by his vile vampire nature to participate in acts that even now made him inwardly cringe, he had all but abandoned the hope that one day he could find love again.  The wonderful feeling of making love to someone whom you not only loved, but that loved you in return was what made Sookie so special.  And what fun it had been with those children!  As a human,  Bill had always loved to be around them and he had forgotten how much fun children could be.  They were so open, honest and for the most part, trusting.  He had not enjoyed the company of a child, at least not under such completely normal circumstances, since he had lost his human life.  As a general rule, children were not part of a vampire's existence.  Living and existing in the dark of night made contact with children a very rare thing.  And Bill could never have forced himself, under any conditions, to harm a child, regardless of how desperate his need to feed.

Eric.  He should have known.  He should have known from the moment he saw the look of naked lust on Eric's face that the safe, isolated world he and Sookie had created would not endure.  And now, here Eric was, stretched out in Bill's bathtub.  Bill knew that it was no mere circumstance that he found Eric in that bathtub. Eric could smell Sookie all over it and knew that it was a place of profound intimacy for them.  This affront to Bill's dignity was a direct message to let Bill know in no uncertain terms just who was in control.  And there was nothing Bill could do about it.  

  

Chapter Fourteen - The Resurection

He could smell the dreary, gray rain long before it's dampness slowly snaked down into the black soil of this dark, earthy hiding place.  Bill had remained here, safely hidden, for two days and a night.  Now darkness was approaching once again and his hunger and need to free himself from this silent, dark grave came upon him with a fierceness.  During the painfully long previous night, Bill had comforted himself with the thought that he lay buried below this rich Louisana soil of Bon Temps near his beloved family that he had never stopped missing.  Their bodies had long ago returned to the dust from whence they came, but it was almost as if he was finally where he belonged.  Then his thoughts returned to the one who had brought life back into his heart.  Thinking of Sookie, remembering that wonderful night when she came to him, yearning for the experience of fully consumated love and willingly giving of her life's blood to him brought to his soul a deep contentment and overwhelming need to see her.  

Bill began to stir, began to bring his senses into full alertness.  He stopped for a moment.  There, he could hear footsteps.  Someone was walking, walking very close.  And sobs, Bill could hear the sobs of someone who's heart was so full of sadness and grief.  Then, as his sense of smell became fully awakened and his nostrils picked up her very distinctive fragrance,  he realized who's grieving sobs he heard.  It was his Sookie.  He could feel such a deep sadness pouring from her soul as if her heart was broken.  She was sad.  So, so sad.   He began to claw his way up from this darkness, reaching up into the damp night air with one arm.  He could sense that she was very close, he could feel and smell the heat of her body radiating to him.  He felt his hand close around her ankle and he heard her scream in fright.  He climbed faster, struggling to bring himself out of this damp tomb.  "Sookie, Sookie, it's me", he heard himself say.  

Bill's desperate hunger and overpowering need to feel Sookie's body joined with his once again made their coupling an animalistic mating.  She was so happy to see him, to know that he was alright, that she awakened not only in Bill, but in herself the desperate sexual need to feel him inside her body. For feeling the pain that such a violent couplings brought also brought the reassurrance that yes, it was Bill and he was alright.  As Bill thrust himself into her body, he frantically lowered his fangs, desperate for the strength and taste of her blood, fiercely needing to slake his intense hunger.  No, not her neck.  Like a newborn babe instinctively seeks out the source of it's comfort and nourishment, Bill quickly found a rich, satisfying source of this life's blood that he not only loved the taste of, but needed to satisfy that part of him which he hated more than anything, this thing that shamed him.  His raging hunger sated, he felt Sookie wrap her legs around him as she urged him on with wild abandon and the need to release that feeling of pleasure that made the outside world cease to exist.

Their lovemaking over, they both lay there in this damp night air, staring at the scattering of dark clouds that were quickly moving, allowing the crescent moon to show it's tiny form.  Sookie could not contain her joy and relief at the sight and feel of him.  She kept touching him, as if she thought she surely must be dreaming as she told him of the fate that had befallen Malcom, Diane, Liam and someone as yet unidentified and how sure she was that he was the fourth victim.  Bill held her to his chest and stroked her beautiful, golden hair as he felt his heart swell to almost bursting with love for this wonderful girl.  He was quite contrite after he had pulled himself from inside her.  Had he hurt her?  He also was worried that his frenzied feeding would leave her arm sore and bruised.  Over and over she reassured him.  But they couldn't stay out here all night.  Sookie was covered in dirt and getting cold.  Not to mention the fact that he was naked and completely covered in damp dirt as well.  Bill gently picked her up in his strong arms and began to walk home.  As the warm water of the shower nozzle began to wash some of the chill and dirt from their bodies, Bill took the shampoo bottle and began to gently wash the soil from Sookie's hair.  He loved doing this.  The feel of her silky hair in his hands as he felt the heat from her scalp radiating down through his cool fingers began to stir in him feelings better left for another time.  Although Sookie kept up reassurances that she wasn't hurt, Bill knew better.   Later, after drying and brushing her hair, they both crawled into Bill's comfortable bed.  Even though he was vampire and had no real need of a bed, he often enjoyed stretching out in comfort as he indulged in the pleasure of a good book or good music while waiting for dawn to come.  Sookie kept reaching up, touching his face, as if she again needed reassurance that he was really here with her.  Yes, he was really here.  And here he would stay by her side until dawn, never taking his eyes from her sleeping face as he watched her gentle breaths as she slept.  

  

Chapter Thirteen - The Sacrifice

Bill quietly listened to the sound of Sookie's gentle, even breaths as she slept in his arms. He leaned over and ever so softly kissed the drying traces of tears on her cheeks. It was hard for him to imagine the gauntlet of emotions this fascinating, strong, but fragile creature that had slowly but surely moved into his heart had endured these past 36 hours. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. But like the strong, stubborn creature that she was, she had maintained control of her emotions until their lovemaking was over. Although she came to him a virgin, she had matched him passion for passion, eager to experience pleasure and to give of her body to him completely and without fear. Then when she realized she was as safe and beloved as she could ever be and as Bill gently cradled her body to his, the tears and grief began to pour from her like the release of a river after spring rains fill it until it's banks overflow in a great torrent. All he could do was hold her and softly murmur gentle sounds of comfort as she wept.

After she had awakened, Bill leaned over and gently picked her up in his arms, and with a twinkle of merriment in his beautiful blue eyes, he quickly raced up the stairs as she threw back her head in laughter. She was amazed at the sight of his newly renovated bathroom, and especially his large bathtub. As Bill began to fill the spacious tub with warm fragrant water, Sookie walked about the room lighting candles. Now the room was bathed in the lovely glow of candlelight and the gentle fragrance of freesia wafted about the room on a cloud of spring. As the warm water began to relax them, they began to talk. Sookie told of a terrible, sickening thing that had happened to her as a child. Bill did not want Sookie to see how terribly angry he was. But one thing was certain. This Uncle Barlett person had better be sure that his insurance was paid and his assurance was made to whomever he would meet in the land of eternity, because that is where he was headed as surely as night follows day.

Later, as the first hint of dawn began to make it's way into the shadows of the eastern sky, Bill knew he would have to leave Sookie until those golden rays of light that he once had enjoyed so much, but now could only dream of , could only sadly remember the feel of, could only drink in the scent of on Sookie's tanned flesh, had once again disappeared into twilight.. He was worried about her. He was not only worried, but frightened as well. He would have loved nothing more than to have her lie beside him and hear the sound of her slow, steady breath as she slept. But he knew that could not be. He would have to sleep his sleep of the dead alone and pray that God would keep her safe until dark.

What on earth could those three troublemakers want at Merlottes? Bill already was quite sure he knew the answer to that question. They wanted him. And the one sure way they knew of getting his attention would be to endanger Sookie. Bill knew that she would not back down or show any fear of them. And he was worried. As he made his way into Merlotte's as quickly as possible, he could see that his predictions were correct. Malcom, Diane and Liam were in rare form tonight. Liam had the shifter down across the bar and the patrons were terrified. Personally, Bill didn't care what happened to the shifter. But he also understood the affection and regard that Sookie had for Sam Merlotte. And he would not do anything to bring more grief and despair to her. He would do whatever those three evil vampires wanted of him if they would agree to leave. He hated to see the look of hurt and disappointment on her face and in her eyes, and he could only hope she understood what he was trying to convey to her as he walked out.

As they made their way into the parking lot of Merlotte's, Bill angrily turned to Malcom. Bill had truly believed that at some point he might actually have a chance to have a life of some sort here in Bon Temps. And the acceptance of his relationship with Sookie among her friends and family was more important than anything. Now, these three were ruining everything. Bill had no intention of hanging out with them and he intended to leave their company as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Which, as it turned out, was soon. As they approached Malcom's shabby, 80's retro hoop-dee, there was a fang-banger standing by the car, as if he were waiting for them. Bill remembered seeing the fang-banger from previous trips to Fangtasia. "Good" thought Bill, "someone or something to keep Malcom, Diane and Liam occupied so I can leave". Bill knew that Sookie would try to phone him, so he immediately put his phone on voicemail pick-up. Sure enough, as soon as they arrived at the newly acquired home of The Vampires Three, it became apparent that the night would be like many other nights full of frenzied human feedings and sex. As Bill stood watching the disgusting spectacle, he could barely force himself to wait until he could get away. Luckily Malcom and Diane were so occupied with their guest they hardly even noticed Bill.

As dawn began to approach, Bill quietly slipped away into the fading shadows. As he climbed into his car, he stopped long enough to check his messages. Yes, there were 3 voicemail messages from a frantic sounding Sookie. Bill knew she was worried. He also knew that trouble would be raining down on the vampires, all vampires in Bon Temps before night fell again. He stopped and thought about where he should go. Well, in light of the situation there was only once place he could go that was absolutely safe for both he and Sookie. His home was a prime target for the vampire haters, and going to Sookie's home would put her in mortal danger as well. There was only one thing he could do. As he opened up his car trunk, he reached inside for the shovel he always carried with him. A freshly mounded grave would arouse no suspicion from anyone, and it had been a very safe resting and hiding place for vampires for many centuries. Bill hated to get dirt on his clothing. Since he had been seeing Sookie, he had decided to update his look. Fortunately for Bill and other vampires as well, online ordering had been a huge advantage and solved the shopping problem. There wasn't much you could not purchase and have delivered directly to your front door. As Bill took off his clothes and began to pull the fragrant, damp earth down upon him, he couldn't help but worry about Sookie. She would be frantic, but it just wasn't safe to leave her a message until everything had settled down. Until then, he would remain here, safe and hidden from the world in this dark, damp womb.

Chapter Twelve - The Passion

Bill Compton leaned his forearms against the mantle above the crackling fire. As he stood there staring into the flames, he felt his mind being drawn back to a night that had ripped apart everything he had held dear. Even after all these many years Bill still felt such a rage against the vampire who had not only stolen his life, but had visited upon him such a misery of existence that even now he was loath to even say her name. Seeing that photograph that Mayor Norris had presented him with had shaken Bill to the very core of his being. There had not been a single night that Bill did not think of them. Coming back into this home of his childhood that he had shared with his beloved Caroline had only served to make it more difficult to move on and forget the past. He turned and walked over to the small table and picked up the photograph. His long, tapered fingers gently traced the outline of his little daughter's face. What had she been like as she grew and became a young lady? Did she ever ask about him? And his son? Who had taught him all the things that he had learned from his own father? What kind of man had he become? He walked over to the staircase and sat down on the third step. He closed his eyes as a million memories began to invade his consciousness. Of him, awakening early in the morning, while the dew was still thick on the Louisana earth and the sounds of robins, sparrows and bluejays could be heard happily chirping as they welcomed in the morning. Before going downstairs to begin a hard day of work he would softly make his way into the room of his sleeping children. He would lean over and softly kiss the neck of his tiny son and for a brief moment he would linger and lightly breathe in that wonderful fragrance of sleeping baby and mother's milk. Bill thought surely nothing could smell so sweet as the neck of a sleeping child. Then he would walk over and gaze down at the tiny face of the one that held his heart. He would gently kiss her cheek and brush back the dark brown hair that was so much like his from her face. Sometimes those brillant blue eyes would fly open and she would look up at him and smile. He would gently admonish her to go back to sleep, then he would tuck the quilt back around her tiny body. But sometimes on a pretty summer morning he would pick her up and they would make their way down the stairs to the front porch just as the sun would come slowly rising to bathe the two of them in it's golden beauty. He would gently pull back the branches of the large camelia bush that grew by the front porch steps. There, hidden deep inside would be a birds nest filled with tiny, featherless robins who were all crying loudly with mouths wide open, anxiously awaiting their mama to return. Bill would smile as Sara excitedly clapped her hands in delight and cried out "oh Papa look! It's baby birds!"

Bill sadly hung his head for a moment. Then he abruptly stood up and resolutely placed the photograph back on the table. To continue on in this vein of self pity and remorse for a past that was as dead as he was just senseless. He knew what he had to do.

As Bill swiftly made his way to the Stackhouse home a faint scent of the familiar smell so well know to vampires began to once again assault his senses. Fear and panic overcame him until he realized that it was not Sookie's blood he could smell, but the blood of someone else. Someone who was old in human years. The varying fragrances in blood of humans as they age is as distinctive and unique to a vampire as the ages of fine wines are to a connoisseur.. As he walked into the doorway of the kitchen he could see his Sookie. She was kneeling in blood, so much blood. She was staring at the body of her grandmother. The body of the one who had taken care of her, had loved and nurtured a child who through no fault of her own had been dealt a card that would forever mark her as an outsider, someone to be feared, much as he was. To see his Sookie so traumatized and so devestated filled Bill with something he had not felt in many years. A terrible need to enact revenge on the person responsible for this horrible, senseless act all but overwhelmed him. "People call us the monsters, the abominations to God. But we never kill for the sheer pleasure of it" Bill seethingly thought to himself.

Bill had never seen such courage in the face of tragedy. She was the strongest thing he had ever seen. His admiration for her grew more as he watched the way she handled herself around the terrible things and questions she had to face. The fact that he could not stay there and watch over her throughout the remainder of the night and during the daylight hours haunted him as he made his way home. He could only hope that the shifter was as capable of watching over her as he claimed. He could not even allow his mind to think about what might have happened if Sookie had arrived home earlier.

Bill's bright blue eyes flew open in panic. Sookie! Sookie! Someone's hands around her neck, cruelly squeezing the life from her as she slept. He must go to her! But he couldn't move. It wasn't time. It wasn't yet dark. His body would not obey his mind. In frustrating rage he sank back into his sleep of death.

Faster than he had ever moved, Bill flew up the stairs into the room where Sookie lay. With a terrified lurch in his heart, he knelt by her side and called her name. A feeling of immense, happy relief washed over him as she groggily opened her dark eyes and looked at him. It was but a dream. A horrible, terrifying dream. But he would not leave her this night. He would stay here and protect her from anything or anyone. Only God could help someone who dared try to harm a hair on her head.

She was coming to him. He could feel it as surely as his body could feel the call of dawn. He could hear her heart beating, he could hear her footsteps as she came into the cemetery. Bill walked across the room and threw open the doors. Where was she? His emotions were racing so fast that for a moment he couldn't distinguish where she was. He stopped, closed his eyes. Oh yes, there she was. It was what he had prayed for, yearned for. She was coming to him. She was his.

Bill looked questioningly into her dark eyes. Her passion and longing rose to meet his. As he gently drew the gown down from her shoulders, he looked into her eyes to see a passion as intense as he felt. As he kissed her gently, he wondered briefly if he would be able to control his passion and even though the tasting of her blood was what he wanted more than he could believe possible, it must be her wish as well. He would be whatever she wanted him to be, he would do only what she wished him to do. As he feasted his eyes upon her beautiful body, he could not control his vampire nature. He felt the fangs come down and in shame he once again turned away from her. But she still wanted him. Her soft hands reached up and pulled him once more down to her lips. She was giving everything to him this night. Something she had never given to any man. Bill felt overwhelmed with desire and passion, but more than anything he was overcome with caring for this beautiful, strong but gentle creature that had come into his life and given him a reason to care. The giving of her body, her purity and more importantly her virgin blood to him so willingly meant more than he could even put into words. This most wonderful feeling of giving love and receiving love. It was something he had not felt since his human life had ended, and it had been something he never thought could be possible. It was a most precious gift. It was a gift that Bill Compton did not intend to ever lose again.

Chapter Eleven - The Agony

Bill Compton sat in the dark, quiet stillness of his car and looked down at the regulation issue Glock .40 semi-automatic in his hand. He shook his head at the sheer stupidity of his actions this evening. What on earth had possessed him to act in such a manner? Bill usually exerted a great effort to maintain control of his emotions and actions at all times. He had learned through trial and tribulation that the loss of control in general made a bad situation an even worse situation. And never more so than for a vampire attempting to mainstream. Yes, it was true the officer had angered and humiliated him in front of Sookie, but that was no excuse for losing control like he had done. How on earth had an evening that had started with such promise turned into such a disaster? And Tuvan throat singing? What on earth was he thinking? Bill leaned his head back onto the headrest and closed his eyes. The lingering scent of the cologne Sookie had worn gently caressed his senses. She had worn it the night he had come to call on her at her home. "Beautiful" she had replied when he asked her what it was called. He had really hoped that their time together tonight would be a chance for them to have some time alone, some time to talk and perhaps allow him to adequately express his growing affection for her. But it seemed as though fate had other ideas. Even though he had been loath to take Sookie to Fangtasia because he knew that every vampire in that place would immediately sense her uniqueness and could see how beautiful she was, he couldn't help but feel a sense of gloating satisfaction over the reaction of Eric. But he also knew that Eric wasn't likely to forget about Sookie. And that worried Bill.

As Bill crossed the threshold of his home, he looked around and listened to the silence. His home was dead, just like he was. There was no life here, nothing remained of the happiness and joy that had once been in each and every room. Before his return, he hadn't really thought about how painful some of those memories would be. He walked into the parlor and sat down. He had really been trying for the past few weeks to not think about those memories. Having Sookie in his life had made that difficult task much easier. But it was very hard now as every room in this house was teeming with ghosts and special memories from his human life and tonight Bill was feeling sorry for himself. He wished he were human again so he could get really drunk and maybe get rid of some of his memories and emotions, if only for a night. He had to make a conscious effort not to picture his beautiful wife coming down the staircase in the evenings after she had put the children to bed. Together they would sit in front of the fire if the weather was cold and hold onto each other's hand while they talked. Then they would quietly make their way up the staircase to their bedroom where they would passionately and eagerly enjoy the sight and feel of each other's bodies as they prepared for bed. He closed his eyes and remembered the smell and feel of her soft, pale body lying under his, the way she tasted. Stop! He musn't think about these things any longer. He was only making his sad existence even sadder. Perhaps his coming back to Bon Temps wasn't the smartest choice he could have made. But he had yearned so and missed his home so much for all these years! And that wonderful feeling that came over him when he walked through that front door the night he returned! It was as if a huge pile of sadness and misery had rolled off him when he stepped out of that car and saw that familiar front door that he had dreamed of walking through for more years than he cared to remember. But he also wondered if he could continue to live all alone with only memories of those he had loved and of happier times. Just the idea of having nothing to hope for, nothing to awaken for filled Bill with such sadness and hopelessness. He just didn't think he could bear to awaken each time the sun went down and realize he had no one to share his time with except memories and gravestones of those he had loved so many, many years ago. He had promised Sookie's grandmother that he would speak at her Descendents of the Glorious Dead meeting. That would be tomorrow evening. He really didn't want to do it, but he had given his word. The idea of dregging up all those painful memories of all those who had sacrificed their lives in one way or another and reliving the horrors and torments of a war that had taken him away from who and what he loved most was not something he looked forward to. But he knew that Sookie would be there. She cared too much for her grandmother not to be there. Bill made up his mind that he would find some way to speak with her. She just had to forgive him. She just had to.

As Bill sat in the small kitchen just to the left of the sanctuary, he could hear everthing being said. Of course, he had heard it all before. Still, as he sat there sipping on his TruBlood, he couldn't help but smile wryly at some of the comments being made. And he was most grateful to Mrs. Stackhouse for her gracious, but firm rebuttal to each and everyone of them. She was such a nice lady. She made him think of his own grandmother. Sookie was very fortunate indeed to have been brought up by such a lovely woman. Bill couldn't believe that Sookie and her brother were of the same blood. Obviously Mrs. Stackhouse had only been able to accomplish so much as far as the brother was concerned. As he sat there he heard a small commotion in the sanctuary. Some large woman with an even louder voice named Fortenberry and her son were trying their best to remove the large silver cross displayed on the altar. And they were having no luck. Bill thought he would absolutely spew O Positive from his nostrils when he heard that woman's remark about him "sizzling up like fatback bacon". Oh yes, that was a good one alright. He would have to remember that one and share it with a vampire friend when the opportunity presented itself. As he sat there alone in that small room he realized that he was listening so intently for only one reason. He was waiting for Sookie. Then, he heard her voice as she greeted her grandmother. He felt his heart leap in his chest. Then he felt his hands clutch the bottle he was drinking from so tightly that it's a miracle the bottle didn't shatter as he felt his eyes narrow in disbelief as he heard Sookie announce to Mrs. Stackhouse who her escort for the evening was. It was Sam Merlotte. The shifter. The shifter who was doing everything he could to take Sookie away from him.

It was a larger crowd than Bill had expected. "I guess it's true" Bill thought. They all want to see the town vampire, like he was some sort of circus sideshow. Didn't they realize that he had probably sat beside their great-great-great-great grandfathers and mothers as children in this very same building when it also doubled as the school? They all looked upon him as a stranger, an intruder into their safe, secure world. But it was not he who was the stranger. He belonged here more so than anyone sitting in this room tonight. For William T. Compton had fought for, had suffered for and had his life and family ripped from him to endure many heartbreaking years of lonliness and sadness only because he had done what duty and honor demanded of him.

As Bill uneasily began to speak he kept watching Sookie's face for some kind of emotion, some kind of sign that she had forgiven him. That she was no longer angry with him for his ungalant actions of the previous evening. The questions from those attending were polite and inquisitive. The crowd wasn't blown away by any means, but they were respectful. All except those three ignorant rednecks with their inevitable garlic press. Bill wasn't bothered by them. They were nothing but the dumbest of cliches. Bill managed to hold his emotions in check even when a descendent of Tolliver Humphries got up and asked Bill about him. Yes, it was difficult recounting and reliving those last few moments of Tolliver's life, but Bill was grateful for the opportunity to tell someone from Tolliver's family just how and why Tolliver had died. It seemed to make the old man feel better and proud to have descended from someone so brave. Then Mayor Norris approached him with a photograph. As Bill reached out his hand for the photograph, he knew instinctively what it was. He had carried one just like it with him, tucked inside his coat pocket next to his heart on that hot August morning in 1862 when he had riden away and become but a memory to them. The photograph had been lost many, many years ago. The vampire Lorena had destroyed it, along with all other vestiges of his former human life including letters from family and friends. With hands trembling and emotions making speech all but impossible, Bill took the tintype and opened it. Oh! Those images tore through his heart like a sickle would slice through wheat. His beautiful Caroline and little Sara! She looked exactly the same as that last morning he sadly kissed her good-bye. And his little son! He could clearly see as if it were yesterday the image of his young son suckling at the breast of his beautiful Caroline as he turned away and left their home, to be forever lost to them. Bill did not trust himself to speak. He felt tears forming in his eyes and for a few sick moments he wondered how those people would react upon seeing tears of red blood streaming down his face. What would Sookie think? Then he saw the compassion and caring on her face. That was all he needed. Bill felt hope in his heart.